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Week 18

Day 120 http://youtu.be/xtr0YqQnaxo
3 minutes- lost weight, packed without giving into my OCD-like symptoms and then arrived at Bonnie’s who said I look great. Yay!

Day 120b http://youtu.be/62MJxSM6goI
1 1/2 minutes- Bonnie’s mail-order boots & shades come in, we roll into winco and fix us some salad rolls. Mmmm!

Day 121 http://youtu.be/nCwVKbNYP6I
We test the sweat lodge October night. It gets warm enough for me and I get in some great Chakra Lam, Vam, Ram, and Yam but the whole time I inhaled wax. Oops. Shout-out to Loren! Bonnie talks about what makes her get around to things more than ever and it’s really about her blessings. I got coffee I didn’t think I needed but I had a feeling so I went with it. I’m missing my hubby! We finish the night with yoga and you can absolutely see how my niece is inspiring me every day.

Day 121 extra http://youtu.be/dU0cFxE_ptU
I made a 6 minute video with stretching and abdominals in yoga to show progress.

Day 122 http://youtu.be/UwBHChxk3oQ
So excited I said “heck with coffee!” Meet neighbors Jill & Dan, Then Parkway Health Foods’ owner, Kathy tells us about her shindig for which Bonnie & I planned my visit. This lady wants no GMOs! Bonnie gobble’s like a turkey so I immitate a peacock. We bring goods back for Jill, Bonnie cuts herself because the canopener I gave her is too cheap, and I make sardine & pickled eggplant sushi. Dan gets a sushi roll. She and I were counting on this visit for a reset. I missed Ernie! I lost weight. But I have no plan now. Uh oh.

Day 123 http://youtu.be/tROWfeqkc-8
We went to Morrow’s in Clackamas and got bread and produce for $5.Thank you! Also, to match my $4.50 shoes, I have a $4.50 dancinc outfit now. My plan was to Occupy at Winner Winner Chicken Dinner where everyone gathers, housed and unhoused for chicken and a movie outside. I got there late so there’s no footage but we did go dancing for free on one of the few days Ernie could go. It all came together. My shoes were perfect, our friend Dan came too, I danced for 90 minutes and hopped in these 2″ heels from heaven for 15 of that. But I am most certainly back in activism for homelessness and with my Occupeeps.

Day 124 http://youtu.be/vugnqSV8g7o
Cuddling vocal dog, talking about my multitasking goal coming true, then how the conversations with my friend Scott and Bonnie and my neighbor Loren have been turning into something. I’m realizing I get excited and then make myself stop because of propriety. But what if this is where the magic is is during this super-charged state of joy?

Day 124

Week 17

Day 113
Stretch day! Vlogging outside a little, and a bit from my video letter to Scott. Nothing much.

Day 114
Breaking out from chocolate sin, lumpy cheek, behind on my videos & not learning. I conquered my refrigerator and made salad rolls (transition food from carbs to salad!) This week’s weird diet change recap. I made some good meals I show. I think this food & gym weirdness is on its way out, and now I pray I can not spend hours editing.

Day 115
I am about to start the mind-meld with Scott on GMOs who also has me drinking protein in juice days of heavy workouts. I talked to Rica of the “Fishy Food Tour” on the phone, on camera (thanks Rica! Everyone see GMOFreePortland.com soon for pictures.) I shared how this is helping me and that my friends and I will make sure they have a great time. I’m back. This fanaticiZe plan is working! I made it great through Plyo, then hit the Sauna for Lam, Vam, Ram & Yam.

Day 116
You can tell I’m charged that I’ll be teaching faith & willpower in movies soon, and relieved to make some progress after 5 years of searching for that one lever that will move a mountain. happy I’m getting on track, about to go do back & biceps. I have almost 3 viewers, and I’m amped I’m going to Bonnie’s Sunday. A mini-letter in here to her sayin’ get ready for the rolling camera! But I’m tired and later find it’s because I have a cold. No workout today, only probiotics & rest.

Day 117
My software! Ernie’s computer crashed & we’re sharing again so I’m trading sauna time for computer work. I notice my cheek is worse, that I’m disturbed and depressed with talking about Armageddon after all… (duh) I’m going to take it easy with this cold responsibly and it’s not going to derail me because this willpower based on training to save the world doesn’t fade away with lost momentum!

Day 118
I have a cyst by my tooth I find out when I finally end up at the urgent dental care clinic thanks to my sweet husband driving me. That morning I’d asked for a particular opportunity that I got.

Day 118 extra
3 other things from my day bailing on my tooth extraction. We make a smoothie I can have with peanut butter frozen bananna milk honey chocolate syrup because we found our blender finally, I got my dancing shoes telling me its time to get reinvolved with our homelessness policy reform through occupy portland and other groups, and i found a charm of the moon. All these things felt like they came to me in one huge happy affirmation.

Day 119
I’m getting better including the swelling from my tooth going down. I spoke with a couple working to get a women’s shelter going who are currently part of Right2Survive which is who I testified for to City Hall with about a hundred others. I’m drinking psyllium husk in OJ to cleanse. Because I got my dancing/activism days shoes I called several other advocates to get back into helping the situation of people living on the streets of Portland. Ernie’s Yoga with me. I’m going to miss him while I’m at Bonnie’s.

Week 16

Day 106 http://youtu.be/kOEQZPurvt8
Just me talking in the kitchen with weird hair. I’m considering a change of schedule so my day starts with the workout. My day of rest could have been a make-up or stretch day but I heard myself say to stop and contemplate. It came to me in the shower that I should somehow shower better. Do my skin care better. Edit my video better… Even if I don’t see the benefit, recently there’s been a theme that I don’t need to predict benefits for them to happen.

Day 107 http://youtu.be/Fj0dBIa0WPw
I’m talking about how I did the tree pose outside the dentist after being in a panic, how I’ve discovered respecting ways of doing things from others whether it’s chakras or logging weight reps in this routine, how I’ve changed my schedule so it starts with the 2 or 3am workout… and there are clips of Kenpo, ab ripper and cardio x. This episode took me about 14 hours at the computer because my free program #2 is now breaking.

Day 108 http://youtu.be/dCixkZ6QB7c
I’ve had a weird week! The night before we had a great time with our friends playing board games and being treated to a comedian’s awkward dances. Meanwhile I’m unable to do plyo because of my knees so I do some pilates then light kenpo, then x-stretch so I can continue kenpo. I talk about listening to my inner voice and what it’s been telling me. This whole week is bad for episodes because my video software is crashing and anything I do to make them entertaining and chop out unnecessary stuff is nearly impossible but bear with me… it will change soon!

Day 109 video is non-existent as was my workout. I needed sleep, relaxation, and doing an easy workout wasn’t enough. I needed full rest. I’m back on our anniversary (our anniversathree!) 10/10.

Note on this week: I’m not trying to edit these down to under 15 minutes because it takes too much time. I need to post these in real time, not a week back and that’s what kills the process so thanks for your understanding. If the descriptions don’t capture you, don’t watch the videos. Nothing but workouts, daily logs & ideas here.

Day 110 http://youtu.be/fIVYMT6aILs
It’s our anniversathree! Ernie loaded a video to the television of his song for me, “that girl who plays guitar” and I am starry-eyed. We went thrifting and had ice cream. I needed both a rug to pad and prevent my yoga mat from slipping at home and yoga socks. I went back to the actual schedule meaning I skipped forward to Yoga but I had to do 1 1/2 times through X-stretch just to start. While I’m in a hard pose “bubble girl” who filled the hot tub with bubbles and her friend came in to play. I asked them to “chill” when they fought over the remote and whether Pokemon was stupid or not. But despite that, I was able to tune it out surprisingly well and I wasn’t angry.

Day 111 http://youtu.be/0K6krijDFy8
Ernie and I hit Fubon, the asian grocery & mall to pick up some odds & ends and oggle the exotic (and dangerous looking) fruit. This is a day where my workouts change in episode times from overnight to morning so there isn’t a workout but none was skipped. Prior to going out I was wrecked by computer crashes and hours of extra work. In this case 5 hours but I’ve had 2 days of 10 hrs for one episode recently. Yikes.

Day 112 http://youtu.be/20-a-T5z2II
I’m joined in Kenpo by a p90x fan, then go do my pilates on my mat which is apparently community now. I describe my limbo week waiting for new software and catching up on video as well as my exciting conversations with Scott from across the state whose path is crossing with Ernie and mine.

Week 15

Day 99

I didn’t plan to make my first video showing my Occupy Portland work on Vigil TV being used my testimony for Right 2 Dream Too getting a permit on day 99. It just happened. After yoga, I watch my light box and do my activism work at the computer using my new video editing skills and my new peace of mind, ending with 3 interview clips. You can see these & others on VigilTV.com. These are linked as “Mary’s highlights.”

Day 100 http://youtu.be/HeFtH4kYfXE
On my first day of “doubles” in p90x, cardio, ab ripper and chest, shoulders & back (a.k.a. insane push-ups I can’t do more than 3-6 of even on my knees) Ernie & I cleaned the house, I found out that my speech (& making a DVD) for a beloved cause is in just 2 days, and I “broke up” with a self-destructive friend so I didn’t go down with him. The last part makes me so angry I barely finished my workout. But I am closer than I thought…

Random link: YouTube recommends similar titles- so all my videos I edit tell me to like things like 100th day of puppies and episode 100 of the water and air sandwich diet (Not recommended). I don’t usually click on videos but if I do it’s often the right thing to do. This is called “Surprising lessons from 100 days of rejection” by Jia Jiang. I’m following my instinct that this deserves an immediate note. Maybe someone out there needs it and we’re connected at this moment. Maybe I do. I don’t know. I’m just following what I hear inside.

Day 101 http://youtu.be/8IJSI6QTaso
Pilates in the house, Plyometrics at the gym, I’m sick and wondering if it’s because I talked briefly about something that upsets me very much. My husband complimented me, My pulse ran very high causing me to take many breaks, I spaced out in the Yoga Tree pose on the words “time deemed” and “close” which momentarily stopped my nausea and I finished the workout.

Day 102 http://youtu.be/8_cfpOvmXIE
I plan on getting up on my day to testify at City Hall with my post-midnight workout with some risk I won’t wake up. I do a little yoga, Cardio X, Ab ripper, and a new weights routine called back & biceps which gets the best of my right arm though I’m right-handed. In the middle I find clarity of mind to know what to say to City Council just in time. My testimony is at the end, more are in the extra video and I’ll link to it all when it’s posted on the City Hall website because it was just incredible to see. I’ll add that many of the excellent testimonies came from my Occupy Portland Comrades.

Day 102 extra. (Ep. 102 is being worked on) http://youtu.be/d8jHzo_g1mQ “City Hall Hearing for Right 2 Dream Too permit, 10/3/13: A few of the voices.”
I recorded some of the people who testified to City Council on behalf, people I know, myself and one I threw in for fun. Many more I recorded didn’t have good audio. The entire hearing was amazing and will soon be on the City Council website. Stay tuned for that link.

Day 103a http://youtu.be/4WzHI8yX1sw
Before going to Pilates and Yoga I spend time processing recent events. The value of sharing the experience of the hearing with Ernie, of sticking with a plan in solidarity with Bonnie, in knowing the difference between flexibility and excuses. I noticed I was able to do Pilates moves I couldn’t before.

Day 103b http://youtu.be/6X2R0AOcl5s
15 minutes of Yoga highlights. After seeing what I could now do in Pilates, it’s clear from this video that my new abilities continued. I reached further, balanced longer and completed all the poses except for crane/crow. Flexibility, not strength or willpower is what remains a challenge but it is improving. Even my balance is coming along. Although for crane/crow my wrists are making strength an issue.

Day 104 http://youtu.be/PfuXrrW8HEY
Legs & Back day. (Ab ripper & cardio x too but I only show Legs & back.) I worked my hardest and I found out where the magic is. I’m getting stronger, more flexible, with more balance and less fat in my way because I’m working my absolute hardest. Because of that, when I push it, I’m just trying to do it better. Before I was trying to do it at all. No more pain in my brain!

Day 105 http://youtu.be/lccUxBPZV1w
Ernie and I went to hear Brian Granse, “American Nobody” whose song “Beautiful Disasters” has appeared in episode 45 and then 74 because it inspires me. As it turned out, I needed to listen to it that very night when ibuprofen made me ill and I felt weak. Thank you Michael Spinella of Spinella’s Off the Wall for silliness and hospitality, Brian for the inspiration and Ernie for a lovely date so close to our Anniversathree.

Day 105 extra Brian Granse plays his song “Beautiful Disasters 10/5/13 at Spinella’s Off the Wall in Gresham Oregon: http://youtu.be/ZAjPxmorO28

Week 14

Day 92
Shortest episode ever! Kenpo X the night before I go to Bonnie’s

Day 93
First day with Bonnie and we’re juicing, doing Pilates with Mari Winsor, and of course talking… Which gets pretty random. My class reunion recap, ear candling and not being able to sauna, that we both use a Bill & Ted quote for actual communication.

Day 94 Day 2 at Bonnie’s. Yoga, first time with P90X “core synergistics,” working out in my pajamas, doing pushups for the first time & nailing the hand lock lunge by saying “I can,” plans for street hockey, ear candling and general silliness (though that goes without saying).
Here’s “The push-up song” I made for this. It was inspired by doing more push-ups. I don’t know if it also inspires more push-ups, but why not give it a try?

Day 95
Barely any footage (sorry). Just me & Bonnie doing Pilates to her Mari Winsor tape again, making plans, checking out her garden, making sure I’m not leaving my belongings (I left some) and posing for a few pictures.

Day 96 After Pilates, During Kenpo X, I broke to talk about being asked to testify in City Hall for the people of Right2Dream, a “rest area” for people without shelter. It’s our hope the city gives them a permit instead of fining them out of existence. October 3rd will be my first step back into activism for ending homelessness.

Day 97 I used my “soundtrack,” self-talk, meditation & even Oms (plus my happy new “i can” pouch) to do my best in my second run through core synergistics after pilates.

Day 98 No edits today- just a 9 minute explanation of the coming week. Editing yesterday’s video was different because I constructed the video as a series of ideas rather than chronologically which is the first step to expressing ideas as “film.” I may be producing one for my testimony October 3rd. This next week’s episodes will focus on my activism and preparations for winter.

Week 13

Day 84
I told myself Kenpo was relatively easy and not having to do ab ripper for two days was like a weekend vacation. Next thing I know I’m barely making it through. Quite a lesson.

Day 85
X-stretch and a summary of my “thesis” that if I really acted like I believed what I do, my life would be under control and this is going to take some serious meditation. Sarah Connor, Dalai Lama XIV, Help!

Day 86
Chest & back plus ab ripper. I’m ready. I did more pushups than before, and when I knew I struggled on the scissor legs I went through 12 hip flexor exercises then nailed it. When I learned them in ep 59 I couldn’t even do those. Bonus mouse.

Day 86 extra
Water party, show must go on in ep 84, hair brushing, I’m going to try to step through this getting out of the matrix. #1 is not comparing importance of an activity with people taking the blue pill. Making a sanctuary is vital. How do I keep this in mind?

Day 87
Plyo in civvies. Jump training after food. I get through by using the namaste/prayer position hands thinking only “I can!” Mary Katherine Gallagher SNL immitation. Taking a lot of breaks so I can do every single one of these suckers.

Day 88
Ernie comes with me for an extra x-stretch because I was sore & does really well on this fine Harvest Moon. I up my weights almost every exercise and do full chair dips like I grew bionic arms overnight. How did this happen?

Bonus videos
FanaticiZe Now
Inner conversation

Day 89
I’m in too OCD-like scattered space to make it to Yoga-X. I spent hours on editing after getting the computer working and it felt too late in the morning but I was just panicking. The harvest moon decided to give me a lesson in a beautiful, gentle way.

Day 90
I go to Yoga and make use of my lesson from the day before and from 3 days earlier when I found I could gain physical strength in the meditation. I completed my poses but I also am clearly in an altered state after this very challenging exercise.

Day 91
I went to my class reunion with Rob Wessels & his girlfriend Jenny (Day 77) in smaller clothes that fit me. Chest & back day was about figuring out the exercises and adding weight. The woman with the encouraging words for me in episode 62 stops to tell me she’d been thinking of me and what she’d said.

Week 12

Day 78
Kicking myself for how I dealt with the resident, seeing the Seasonal Affective Disorder and the aging in my face partly from pain, many positive things happen after my Kenpo X (where I was a real champ), I’ve decided to do facial yoga, and I mixed a video that ended up expressing my vision of what a human being is.

Day 79
Because it’s my Sunday and I took a day off a few days ago, this is where I catch up by doing Chest & back, Ab ripper, and X-stretch using all my new finds- bands to simulate pullups, push up bars, and a yoga block made of a soft lunch pail. Sometimes it took me longer, having to press pause to make mini-breaks but I did 99% of the reps in this video and worked out 3.25 hours. Yeah baby.

Day 80
In pain after dentist, I go to plyometrics and bring it. Jump knee tucks, guitar heroes,
hot foot- these are all exercises I couldn’t do last week but I did them this time.
I’m seeing a pattern to all the finds at thrifting and what is getting fixed for us:
things that make the show go on. Our computer problems, my equipment, my pain. It
spells for me clearly that I’m supposed to come here every day and push!

Day 81
Back on schedule, I’m bloated from a huge vegetarian nacho plate with a sore mouth from the dentist and had to go back for things twice. I didn’t want to do the second workout but all that was in my mind was to keep going. It was shoulders & arms plus Ab ripper which was my personal best as I did all the reps with very few breaks. In short, I brought it, Tony.

Day 82
Shopping at New Seasons, cat draft stopper, yoga day with tooth pain. This time I want to finish it! I realize that I should do hip flexor stretches before this and other routines. Our equipment problems patched for now.

Day 83
Water party #2 with animals! Hot steamy sauna listening to mantras of chakras, legs & back day, using the song Beautiful Disasters to make it through another ab ripper workout.

Week 11

Day 71
Sauna mantras & gmofreeportland outreach. Car battery dead, too sore to walk to store. Sick again, going to gym anyway. Makeup & hair down to 2 bobby pins, 2 clips, eye brow pencil & mascara. Maybe eyes too high- my smile is half-wood! :) X stretch day with p90x. Not sick anymore & not very sore!

Day 72
back & arms then abs on the p90x and guess who joins me? Gym guy! :) Ernie is dreaming up stuff with me, having his own little coincidences to ponder. So we talk about what we want- and I’m thinking of what we need for this fate idea- what would matter in the timeline?

Day 73
Ernie shows how his John Young CDs he was thinking of because of the song “Significance” with what we’ve been talking about had another song on the other CD called “Childhood’s End” so I finally bust out the letter Arthur C. Clarke wrote me along with a picture you have to see!

Day 74

My self-talk during a hard workout “Plyometrics” squatting and jumping. Brian Granse a.k.a. American Nobody’s song Beautiful Disasters picked me up, and my first help came from Tool Parabola on Lateralus… Lyrics really central. My thrifting finds were all around just coming back daily to work out. I’m really concerned I could lose the footage so I need computer/memory stability.

Day 75
Makeup for the show must go on, getting psyched out, p90x shoulders & arms, HEY! I got a teacher. Remember me asking for a teacher? Bam! I forgot there was a second workout so when I remembered it took a lot to start up again. I did some fancy editing too. Learning VideoPad editing every day. Dual Cam!! Fancy.

Day 76
I found out American Nobody Brian Granse is playing tomorrow. Gonna go see if I can play his song on the show & tell him how inspirational. Also, we are planning on seeing my best buddy from junior high, Rob Wessels in the band he fronts “The Bar Pilots.” My make-up was fast, I’m breaking out and I’m stoked for Yoga. It was going well then a man I’ve talked to before comes in and wants specifically to join me so I bolt 30 minutes into the workout.

Day 77
Bad omens feel. I’m without self-defense training. Ernie and I go see the Bar Pilots where Rob Wessels gives fanaticiZe his ringing endorsement and my camera is accosted by a bass guitar. The Legs & back routine involves pullup bars I don’t have- but I saw some at the thrift shop- only they were semi-expensive. I got a “lunchpail yoga block” and explain my thrifting as fortune. I realize this guy who unnerved me was possibly waiting for me to invite him because we’d talked about it! I need to speak with him clearly.

Week 10

Day 64
Thanks bubble girl for your stuck loud tv on “Same Love” by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis about marriage equality at the VMA. A viagra commercial and a second pair of shoes were messages, one was delivered in part during the vlogging: “This is the age of knowing how to make things happen.”

Day 65
Gym guy helps me work out and I don’t goof off much because I burned a lot of calories on the treadmill & eliptical. I did find out he didn’t know who Prince was unless it was the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire. Blah! Almost time to go to Bonnie’s!

Day 66
The last show at home then 3 from my niece’s house! I get on the elliptical with no problem thanks to a book on tape, do my stretches, moon salute, free weights and bench press. Great workout. Best of all- I came at all. I didn’t feel like it, but when I don’t feel like going, I put my make up on, do my hair and hit the gym.

Day 67
Day 1 with my niece Bonnie, who I’d seen only recently after decades apart but have always felt connected to. I arrive after a horrible ride and mostly unwind but we find time for skin care, shopping and a silly 2 miles around the track.

Day 68
Day 2 at Bonnie’s: Tony Horton P90x video yoga, skin care, juicing, sweat lodge, breathing, Chakras, Bhagavad Gita “As it is” book

Day 69
Last day at Bonnie’s. More juice, exercising to the p90x with back, arms & legs. Schmoyoho’s mix of Cara Hartmann’s “Can’t Hug Every Cat” video. We call my 2 sisters and my brother, her dad who hears about the sweat lodge. Father & daughter love fat-pie (ew). I discover Sara Connor is Bpnnie’s muse too for as she says, “IT’S GO TIME!” She smudges her studio with sage, then I go home.

Day 70
I’m sick but I go to the gym & do 1/2 of Tony Horton’s p90x “Kenbo X” before succumbing. Meanwhile, Ernie & Christina manifest their hearts’ desires. Video begins with why magic doesn’t surprise me.

Day 70 extra
Arthur C. Clarke and my great Aunt Moppy’s communicated visions for Emergence and my casual expectation of continuous small miracles.

Week 9

Day 57
Legs only day if I can remember. No more touching my toes. Live streaming video & yesterday’s botch by the mayor. Contraband health food in the movies! Hatch chili pepper pizza and mandarin orange greens.

Day 58
New shirt & underwear for birthday boy. Fanny pack! No sleepy eyes with dark makeup and hurty hair. Gotta be talk-show-friendly. New ($3) shoes, Fred clears me for eliptical :) and its hard!

Day 59
Behind on my editing, journaling my antibiotic, bad attitude needs my tape. FitbodyHQ 12 best hip flexor stretches indeed! Changing routine blues. Need my real-time lessons from editing again.

Day 59 extra: Ernie’s birthday
Papa G’s Vegan Organic (& often raw) deli, GMO-Free dinner. Melty chocolate.

Day 59 extra: Confidence & weaknesses
While I’m learning I can’t stop out of shame. My work as a learning streamer, people taking on new tasks because there’s so much work… I can’t talk things through on the eliptical. Why I break down while filling out disability/insurance forms. Biology as a field for a person with an anxiety disorder. Conservation during fracking!??

Day 60
Car dead again. Disability benefits? Debt forgiveness? Biology career without saving is pure panic. SSI forms traumatic (see extra episode). Sauna. Bubblebath pool. I want to goof off but I did 2 workouts & had an epiphany.

Day 60 extra: fifteen minutes
Beating back the quit voices for exercise like Rational Recovery (drinking and smoking 5 years ago) The book will be $ we can use that won’t hurt me & will get Ernie what he needs for him and us. Obamacare/NSA/drones- info to stop all opposition.

Day 61 preview: “channel”
The next 2 episodes have huge revelations in a 14 & 40 minute discovery process. Since I can’t edit them I’m outlining what is in them. It is strongly recommended that unlike other long maybe drawn-out thought episodes these are watched because how the decisions were made is where the power comes from and its applicable to others.

NOTE: These 2 episodes are so long but important if you want what I’m getting. So I made a special video above called ” Day 61 preview: ‘Chanel’ ” You have to be hard core into the result to want to see this next hour but it may help you.

Day 61 A
10 lbs! Easy hair & makeup finally, this book means people want to do what i’m doing so i have to walk the walk of being a person they want to be- so people join in an effort to end humanity’s childhood and save the planet as healthy strong humans! I discover that the Square Pose FIXES MY BACK and puts the skip in my step I crave, I fought a demon and won and it wasn’t horrible to face talking to Ernie about SSD.

Day 61 B
Regarding this Day 61 B it is LONG and I don’t get to the point. I don’t edit to do that. This is here strictly for witnessing because I talked myself into a place of abundance I’ve never seen my way into before when my life has to be for others.

If I reject things in my life I make my life harder and less effective. But I can’t use the mojo if I feel its tainted. Working through this for yourself is important if you want to do it too so I’m leaving this long thing here. That’s why I made the intro version if all you want to know is the point. It’s above called “Day 61 preview “channel”"

Ernie needs things, the book is based off successful help for others so as a dividend I can let the book provide for us while we serve. I have unhoused friends. I have housed person guilt. So I’m turning over the dream. We can have some things for us, but it is in Ernie’s hands. My husband can have his dreams and needs met which include me and everyone he loves if he can help in any way by his nature. It’s his vision but I can manifest because I’m free now for the first time and I won’t have to change my focus. We’re still saving the world here together. But losing teeth and coming close to losing our living space, knowing people helping us are strapped too… there’s no need for that and it doesn’t help my goal so in this video I dump the lifelong habit and now I’ll do what I know how to do right here. Thanks for reading, thanks for watching, welcome to season 3!

Day 62
Human beings are powerful and the world has to grow up now. No more false scarcity… I also rid myself of unnecessary hardships. I’m manifesting things now through Ernie’s dreams, and by spring I’ll have enough “product” to get a book advance. Killer bench press. “Just imagine where you’re going and you’ll get it. You’ll make it there.”

Day 63 extra: “Hour”
What are we? What if we are that amazing of beings, and the earth so special to save, and our powers so great but for this single illusion that we can’t just stop the sorrow. One thought all over the planet that there is an illusion called “false scarcity” and we can walk away like a bad relationship. I explain my basis in more physics as I see it with some laughing at my own audacity, tell my story of when I got my Calling, and explain how this book and the manifesting I’m up to lately fits in. Right now this one is my favorite but… Nerd Alert!

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